SERVICE FOR SERVANTS WHO NEED IT
A Wireless Carrier For Broke-Ass Motherfuckers.
Wireless Service For Almost Everyone
01
Broke-Ass Scrubs
No money? Fuck yeah. Here’s a phone and some data.
02
Welfare Queens
Got SNAP, WIC, or CHIP? Got cell phone.
03
King-pins On The Rise
Tools to help keep your tools in-line, in the shed, and sharp.
04
Street Soldiers
Make your paper, boo-boo. Then give it to us.
05
Cheap Motherfuckers
Why pay more for better, when good enough is this cheap?
06
Anyone Else
You could go to the other cellular carriers.. The un-carrier… The red one, the blue one, and what’s the other one… Fuck it. They’re all shit-shows, and here you have a ring-side seat!
Discover New Lows In Service
Here at Brokedick Wireless, it’s not just a committment to our customers, it’s an obligation to society… And we have over 1,000 more hours to go, so buckle up. buckaroo.
See this shit?
Who the fuck makes hard boiled eggs haute cuisine? Is that… Avocado toast? What the ever-loving fuck?
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I get high from the pain, feels like a drug, yeah I need it, yeah I need it just a little too much…
Some Hot Bitch
/
In A Song
I’m Fuckin’ This Cat
You Just Hold The Legs, God Dammit!
✓ Easy to SEE
✓ PRE-LUBRICATED FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT
Frequently Asked Questions
What the fuck are you saying?
Well, if you wanted to know you’re in the right place. Just re-read our slugs and about pages until it sinks in.
Instant Activation
I think we can do this. Don’t hold us to it, and you should probably expect some sort of hiccup. Or at least a burp, or maybe a sneaky fart or two.
Payment Flexibility
Cash App, Cash, Rolled Coins, Folded Bills. Doesn’t matter. We’ll take it.
Constant Contact
We’re gonna make sure you know who the fuck we are, buddy. Oh, yeah.
Bring Your Own Device
Absolutely! You have a cell phone from another carrier? As long as it’s an iPhone 6S or later, or a non-network locked or subsidy locked Android running Android 8 or higher, we’ll put it on our network.